A little self love for my little love
I stand and I stare.
Picking to pieces the things I wish I could change with that ever familiar taste of distain in my mouth.
It feels like an ongoing battle that can never be won and yet, here I am, addicted to setting myself up for failure.
Thighs that have a glimmer in the sun; not from sparkle but unwelcomed dimples.
A stomach that resembles the ripples of the ocean; with sharp changes that continue to see it rise and fall.
Arms that could position themselves easily on the infamous tuckshop lady; no tone, no strength, just sag.
As I work my way up I pick to pieces every part of me that doesn’t appear to be perfect.
Every part of me that is opposite to what I see in the magazines.
Every part of me that I’ve been conditioned to see as unworthy.
Why? Because it’s all I know.
BY DANIELLE – MUMMY REPUBLIC
For years this is the type of torture my mind inflicted on my body.
From as young as I can remember, I looked in the mirror and saw flaws. Never reality. The two were miles apart.
I tried every diet, every fad, every quick fix.
But nothing ever worked, not for more than a short period of time, because the problem was on the inside; and so the vicious cycle would continue.
Like a record stuck on repeat, I felt like I was constantly in a groundhog day with the relationship I had with my body.
I found it hard to find my way out.
It had given me life, taken me on adventures and provided me with a beautiful child and yet it was never enough. Because my body wasn’t unhealthy, it was my mind.
Fast forward to my 30th birthday and finally, I realised that things had to change. It wasn’t easy and at times it still isn’t, but for the most part, I’m finally at a point where I am comfortable in my own skin.
The most ironic part about it is that I had always been “small” so some may say that I never needed to have this concern or that it was unwarrented and maybe they’re right. But body issues don’t discriminate and this ongoing burden is something that I had created, unknowingly, because it seemed as though I had to….and that’s what is most terrifying.
As I look to my daughter I can only hope that things are different for her.
In a world of edited perfection, it is concerning to imagine what she may experience but at least with her I feel some sense of control.
I feel like I can make it right. I need to.
I see it as an opportunity to help her create a self love that is so engrained, she cannot fathom any other way of thinking, regardless of the culture that surrounds her.
So as I look to you my dear, the greatest advice I can give to you is that loving yourself and your body takes far less energy than hating it, so here are a few truths I’ve learned along the way that might save you some time:
1. Your body will change. It’s inevitable. You will grow and so will it and it is a GOOD thing.
2. Eating healthy is key to your body and mind feeling good.
3. But don’t be too strict or deprive yourself; it will only lead to bad habits. 80 healthy/20 treats is a good balance but there may be days when it’s 5/95 and that’s ok, don’t punish yourself for it.
4. Starving yourself does not work and it should never be an option.
5. Throwing up does not undo what you just put in your mouth, it makes it worse.
6. Everyone has cellulite. Some more than others but it’s completely normal.
7. Even the girls in the magazines don’t look like the girls in the magazines. Or in your case, social media.
8. Don’t compare yourself. Everyone is a different make and size and it’s not a competition (even though it may feel like it is). You are limited edition baby.
9. Keep the relationship with your body within yourself, never let anyone come between that and try and tell you how to feel about it.
10. Embrace your flaws and find a way to feel good about them, that’s half of the battle.
11. You will NOT be happier once you’re thin or lose just an extra few kilos? – work on being happy now.
12. Wear the bikini. You’ll always look back and wish you did. Wear it and feel good in it.
You’ll go through ups and downs with the way you feel about the female body and that’s inevitable; but know that I’ll always be here to give you a gentle reminder of how amazing it is; after all, it gave me you. xx